The Witch and the Wolf

QuestingBeast

Administrator
Staff member
I've been making monthly one-page adventures for my patreon, but I never really get any feedback on them. So...critique my adventure! It's stat-less and assumes that the user is an experienced DM who knows how to run dungeons.
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DangerousPuhson

Should be playing D&D instead
It's... not bad. Little tired of the whole "candy enemies" thing though - the OSR kinda got saturated with it. Maybe not a problem for groups who haven't done anything candy-related though.
 
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bryce0lynch

i fucking hate writing ...
Staff member
Silly is hard. There are several blog posts that talk about the D&D world as being the straight man to the party, rather than the other way around. A more sinister vibe would get around it being thought of as silly. Not over the top, I think you are already pretty close to where you need to be.

Golem Room:
What's the point of the hot spring? It feels tacked on. How could it contribute to the adventure? It should also be higher up in the description, before the golem, since its likely to be the first thing seen/experienced AND its short. Good golem stuff, but the ring in the middle seems a little too hidden. Some hint elsewhere, that makes the party want to kill their friend to get the thing that will help them defeat the witch? Then it's a Delicious choice!

Cauldron Room:
This feels like an Ed Greenwood room. Just something to see and not really interactive. What if the candy was real, living candy people? Or there was some way to use the liquid candy to do something, like make your own candy people?

Oven, supplies:
How is this interactive/how does it drive interactive play and/or contribute to the adventure? Not that everything has to, mind you, but this IS a short adventure. Same for those treacherous caves in the NE. DId you mean for the DM to insert some challenges? Maybe more specificity/different word choice would drive that?

Catacombs:
Footprints relate to the chittering? I immediately thought "track something in another room!" rather than "hint about the rats." Mostly because tracking is interactive and a hint about rats, that dont appear, seems window dressing. Would be nice if the fruit trees on the door meant something.

The witch is good but Jasper is missing something. It feels like the encounter is off, like Jasper needs one more bit of information. I think I get where you are going, but I can't put my finger on whats wrong. He wants kids and hates the witch and the golem, in different ways ... but that's not it. Maybe he is unredeemingly evil, with nothing to offer? The witch will pay, but Jasper seems like he's just a jerk ... and he wants to eat kids and fuck up that golem? What's he got to offer? There's not pretext that a party can use to ally with him? I'm not sure thats accurate,.
 

Dave

A FreshHell to Contend With
I like the wolf in men's clothing who's a vicious swordsman, and the food that makes you keep eating. Very fairy-tale. That room being mandatory in jacquaying terms, that's a good place to put in clues to the other rooms. Sound of singing from the right, smell of baking bread from the left. Granted that can be inferred on a one-page dungeon, but it's still easy to forget and the kind of thing I'd make a note of myself.

Disagree about the hot spring having no point, it makes the room more dynamic if the party gets into combat. Presumably the gingerbread golem dissolves if knocked in, but PCs take damage (at least that's how I'd run it). I would add some kind of crusted over treasure at the bottom of it.

I'm not a big fan of stat-less adventures myself, as it means every one who runs it has to stat it. I suppose the market is so splintered that you risk turning off people looking for an adventure for other systems, and it does take up room. But I can convert a minimalist stat block in my head faster than I can stat something up.
 

Osrnoob

Should be playing D&D instead
QuestingBeast you have any follow up on Bryces comments here?

Interested how Bryce here influenced you and your work since
 
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