My my my, we just loooove to hear ourselves don't we?
yeah, sorry, the copy-paste looked fine in the reply editor here and then promptly dropped all its formatting when I hit 'Post reply' :\Also, worth noting here that the editor here has lost all of @The1True's formatting, the PDF is much easier to follow than this.
Thanks for the notes! This is all good stuff and really really helpful! I'm starting to worry now, because this was the tightest and most conventional of my mini-scenarios. Things got looser as I started to experiment with maps and interactivity in the later quests. I'm going to have to establish a unifying style and (very discouragingly) probably have to rewrite everything as a result.
I think one of my chiefest failings is that someone (DP I think?) wisely suggested that I should show-don't-tell with regards to back-story/history. Like, if the history of a character or an object doesn't come through in the description or findable lore, than it's just wall of text cluttering up the module that only the DM will ever see. So I've been scattering about all these clues to the various backstories, but as Malrex has repeatedly pointed out, there's no summary at the start of these things and I keep having to write explanations in this thread. That means I've failed to make the finished puzzle; the big picture clear to the DM. I'm thinking on top of a quick summary at the front, maybe a checklist at the back for key story elements? Or a checklist with major NPC descriptions?